Menuai Luka

 mereka siapa?

seenaknya menghiasi jiwa dengan luka

mengatakan selayaknya

seolah pemberi kabar gembira

dia siapa?

anggap tawanya beri bahagia

sesuai harga untukku si biasa saja

memang dia dewa

segalanya setara semesta

apakah kataku penuh angkara?

aku murka.

iya.

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Candi Prambanan dalam Ketenangan

Terhitung tiga ratus enam puluh lima hari jika tidak berjumpa. 

Kerinduanku akan keindahanmu terasa nyata.

Kerinduanku akan personamu kian membara.

Semoga semua segera kembali seperti sedia kala.

Semoga kita segera kembali bersua.

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Ramadhan, Bulan Ampunan

Tuhan

adakah Kau sedang penuh kemarahan?

akan kelakuan kami yang menghancurkan

akan kebiasaan kami yang bersimbah keburukan

Tuhan

adakah Kau sedang memberi kami ujian?

atas sikap kami yang keterlaluan

atas perilaku kami yang penuh kejahatan

Tuhan

masihkah Kau simpan ampunan?

untuk kami yang tak luput dari kesalahan

untuk kami yang penuh dosa dan keserakahan

Tuhan Yang Penuh Cinta

Kaulah segala maha dan digdaya

kami hanyalah manusia penghamba

akankah pintu maafMu lebar terbuka?

...

Ramadhan, hari ke-13

Malang, 6 Mei 2020

21.17

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d o u b l e t w e n t y

this brand new year really gets to teach me something.

I am asked to start my year with failure.

yeah

failing is always hard.

failure is an enemy.

particularly anyone's.

including mine.

page 2/365 taught me

how to be strong

how to hold on

how to handle truth

how to cope with failure

some people might say 

I am weak

that's okay

some people might say

it's just a bad day

that's okay

let me handle myself

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The City That Never Sleeps

When you read the title of this post, 

What do you possibly have in your mind? 

Or, which city do you have in mind?

If the answer is Jakarta, yes, you have your answer correct.

I have been to Jakarta several times in my life though this was the first time I visited Jakarta for a working purpose. What did I feel?

tired.

I don't know how I could feel this way. It's just the way it is.

It's too tiring to follow the rhythm this city has.

It runs really fast.

I don't know how but it's just fast.

a bit like in a rush in pursuing something which I don't exactly know what it is.

if I may have one chance to have some heart-to-heart talk with this city,

I'm gonna say:

"have some rest"

I love working.

I definitely love my job.

But this city drives me really exhausted.

I enjoy its modern architecture and system.

But I dislike the people.

They're too individualistic, too selfish, too self-centered.

Yet, it's still nice to visit this city to refresh my mind

from some routine which makes me bored and bored and bored.

so, thanks Jakarta,

for making me miss my beloved city, Malang.

Malang is still the best place to stay, to live, and to enjoy life.

see you when I see you.

Jakarta, 16-17 Oktober 2019

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Ada Aku

ada aku;
pada baris kata-kata di bibirmu
entah di iya atau tidakmu
aku tahu ada aku

ada aku;
pada duka yang buatmu pilu
deras air mata dan tangismu
aku tahu di situlah aku

ada aku;
pada daun pintu
yang menunggumu pulang
menatapmu berlalu lalang
terkadang pun kau bimbang
akankah ada hadirku di petang?

ada aku;
pada lengkung senyummu
terbias melalui untaian aksara dariku
terpantul dari ujaran rinduku
bahagiakah kamu?

ada aku
merasuki tulang di ragamu
terhirup di udaramu
menyentuh kalbumu
tertanam di dadamu

ada aku.

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Stranger Things

Kygo ft OneRepublic

...

Stranger things

We're like, like we're stranger things (very far)

We're stranger things (dream of places at)

'Cause that's just who we are

We'd used to run around this ghost town

Always thinking out loud

Are we gonna get out

I remember

We dream of places that we could go

Castles with the strange glow

People that we don't know

I remember

We left a life

That's ordinary from the start

We looked for stranger things

'Cause that's just who we are

Found me the edge of something beautiful and loud

Like I'm picturing now

Castles glitter under Spanish skies

But I'm just looking out for you tonight

Snow white mountains in a foreign state

Tell me someday we'll get there

Someday

Someday

I see a Technicolor shadow

Underneath your window

Just in case you don't know

I can see it

You cast an unfamiliar day glow

Different than what I know

Shining like a halo

I can feel it

We turned our back on ordinary from the start

We looked for stranger things

'Cause that's just who we are

Found me the edge of something beautiful and loud

Show me the sky falling down

Castles glitter under Spanish skies

But I'm just looking out for you tonight

Snow white mountains in an ancient place

Tell me someday we'll get together

Someday

Someday

A stranger things

We're like, we're like a stranger things (very far)

We're stranger things (dream of places at)

'Cause that's just who we are

.

..

this song reminds me of many things, particularly what usually happens inside my head. sometimes I can hear my mind talking to one another and I'm the one listening to their conversation. tell me I'm dreaming, it's just that I'm a full dreamer all the time. 

...

berbicara dengan kata sudah terlalu biasa

berbicara tak bermakna sesungguhnya pun buat apa?

berbicara tanpa tindak nyata gunanya apa?

berbicara sendiri saja

dengan ujaran dan aksara pilihanku semata

dengan aku satu-satunya

pendengar sekaligus pembicara

katakan aku gila

ini sudah biasa

diriku saja

tidak dengan lainnya

kalian tak kan mampu pahaminya

hanya kau yang sama gilanya

Malang, 19 Februari 2019

21.08

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