Going MONOCHROMATIC!

since I haven't posted anything in A YEAR, YES, A YEAR, you heard me right, I am going to publish some posts which come into my mind. I've been keeping myself to literally myself, well, not really, for I posted a lot on my Instagram account, so now I will share some things, or some views, or whatever that is.

okay, I've posted something related to poems, see my previous post about Gus Mus, and now I am going to post something related to what I am currently doing: GOING MONOCHROMATIC.
I am not quite aware that I have sooooo many white shirts on my wardrobe. it's just that when I come to a store, I don't know what happen in my mind that I always get my attention trapped into white or monochromatic outfit.
starting from:

white trousers

white shirts

white headscarves

white outers

white

...

and white.

like this,

or this,

and this.

see? I didn't realize myself that I have so many of them. however, deep down I know that I don't really like playing with colors when it comes to mix and matching some clothes in my daily life. I love wearing simple things which do not possess too many details. I also love putting accessories but I don't like to put too many of them.

people say it is related to personalities because what you wear usually defines who you are. well, somehow I agree to that statement even though it does not always go that way. because of that statement, I like observing people through what they wear everyday starting from color choosing, how simple they dress up, what kind of accessories they put on, and then relating those to their personalities. it is often TRUE, you know ;)

the point is,

dressing up does NOT have to be expensive, even though I don't deny it that expensive things usually have very good qualities, it just needs to be comfortable in your own way. that's my personal opinion, though. I wear something which is comfortable for me. I admit that I copy a lot of people's styles sometimes BUT I do not just copy them. I only copy some elements of them which are suitable for me. just so you know, dressing up forces someone to be creative and if you just simply copy without considering which one is best and which one is not, you will just be a follower without an identity or a JANE DOE ;)

so, BE CREATIVE.

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Bermain Sajak (Lagi)

selamat datang kembali,

agaknya kata-kata di atas akan saya persembahkan untuk diri saya sendiri yang sudah satu tahun ini absen nge-blog. nampaknya banyak sekali hal yang membuat saya sendiri malas menulis. iya, saya harus mengakui bahwa satu tahun ini saya enggan sekali mulai menulis.

saya tidak akan mengatakan saya sibuk karena kalimat "saya sibuk" menurut saya terlampau egois bahkan untuk diri saya sendiri. saya selalu berprinsip bahwa tidak ada manusia yang terlalu sibuk untuk melakukan apapun karena yang ada hanyalah manusia yang tidak mampu mengatur waktu dan manusia yang tidak mengerti prinsip prioritas. semoga tahun ini saya lebih istiqomah menulis, apapun itu. Allahumma amin.

banyak sekali hal yang terjadi satu tahun terakhir ini baik yang positif maupun negatif. satu hal yang seolah begitu lekat di hati saya meskipun saya tidak dekat sedikitpun (secara fisik) dengan beliau adalah berpulangnya belahan jiwa dari salah satu sosok yang saya kagumi yaitu istri dari Gus Mus atau Ahmad Mustofa Bisri.

saya mengikuti beliau di beberapa media sosial karena beliau aktif berdakwah melalui media tersebut. begitu mengetahui kabar tersebut entah bagaimana hati ini ikut berduka. hati ini seolah bisa memahami apa yang dirasakan oleh Gus Mus. bagaimana bisa?

setelah saya amati, hal ini saya rasakan lebih kurang karena beliau menulis beberapa sajak pendek selepas kepergian istri beliau. sajak-sajak tersebut beliau tulis di akun media sosial beliau yang saya ikuti. dengan tuturan kata yang sederhana, beliau mampu dengan mudah membawa pembaca mengolah rasa. berikut adalah salah satu contoh sajak yang beliau tulis.

- sidik jari -

di sini

sidik jarimu ada

di mana-mana

ada di daun pintu

ada di jendela

ada di seantero

ruang ini

maka alibimu

tak bisa diterima

kau tak mungkin

di tempat lain.

(Gus Mus - Awal Syawal 1437)

bagaimana mungkin hati ini tidak berdesir membaca kalimat yang demikian indah.

bagaimana mungkin air mata ini tak mengalir mengurai rasa yang nampak gundah.

bagaimana mungkin.

bagaimana mungkin jiwa tak bahagia tersembunyi lewat paparan huruf dan rima.

bagaimana mungkin kubisa tertawa kecuali dalam panggung penuh pura-pura.

bagaimana mungkin.

(Fifit, 12 Februari 2017)

beliau adalah satu dari sekian sosok yang menjadi inspirasi saya menulis, menulis apapun itu. saya adalah penikmat susunan kata beliau yang selalu indah dan sederhana. di balik kesederhanaan itulah muncul makna yang luas, universal, dan menentramkan jiwa.

semoga senantiasa sehat, Gus agar bisa terus berdakwah dan berkarya. Allahumma amin.

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Tanpamu Aku Takut

maukah kau meminta dunia berhenti berputar?

aku ingin menikmati waktu bersamamu tak sebentar

maukah kau meminta langit menunda datangnya malam?

aku tak ingin melihat wajahmu lenyap dalam kelam

maukah kau meminta laut berhenti bergelombang?

aku tak mau riaknya usik diammu dalam tenang

maukah kau meminta matahari untuk sedikit meredup?

aku sedang melukis keindahanmu dalam sebait sayup

maukah kau menikmati kehadiranku dalam denyut?

tanpamu aku takut.

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All I Ask

aku masih saja sering bertanya.
entah kepada diri sendiri atau kepada apa saja. apakah bisa cinta hilang begitu saja? apakah memang rasa hanya permainan tangan Sang Kuasa? entahlah, karena sampai sekarang pun aku tak tahu jawabannya. kalau cinta itu memang kekal adanya, mengapa hadir benci di dunia? mengapa rasa sakit hati masih juga ada. bukankah mereka berkata bahwa cinta adalah kekuatan penuh digdaya?

maaf. aku terlalu banyak bertanya.

aku masih saja sering bertanya.
entah kepada diri sendiri atau kepada siapa saja. mengapa awalnya mereka bisa jatuh cinta. lalu saling memaki sesudahnya. adakah bisa seberkas luka menumbuhkan sebegitu besar lupa? aneh nampaknya namun begitulah adanya. terbukti bahwa cinta tak semutlak yang kukira. tapi jangan khawatir, aku tidak akan hilang kepercayaan akannya.

maaf. aku terlalu banyak bertanya.

aku masih saja sering bertanya.
akankah lusa cintamu masih akan tetap sama? saat aku tak lagi muda dan mulai menua. saat aku tak lagi pandai berhias dan mulai keriput di sini sana. akankah cintamu masih akan tetap sama? meski aku tak lagi pandai berkata-kata. hanya mampu menghadirkanmu tubuh yang mulai renta. aku pun tak bisa menjanjikan apa-apa. namun kamu perlu tahu bahwa tanpamu aku bukan siapa-siapa.

satu saja yang aku minta.
cintai aku sejujurnya.

Backsound: Adele - All I Ask

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s o r r y

is it too late now to say sorry?

I know that I let you down.

is it too late to say I'm sorry now?

:( 

SORRY

this is a very simple word with a never simple meaning, indeed. some people say sorry for some purposes. usually, people say it because they feel they have just done something wrong. thus, they need to say sorry. this very simple and short word (only contains 5 letters), even though is not hard to spell and utter, is not easily given either. well, many reasons cause it. I am not trying to be judgmental but, just admit it, some people are just too drowned into their dignity that they take those mistakes for granted and do not think that a forgiveness is needed (me too sometimes). :")

mengucap kata maaf bukan berarti kekalahan

mengucap kata maaf bukan pula selamanya bermakna kesalahan

meski biasanya demikian

see?

sometimes it is easier to say sorry than to lose something much bigger. we don't know, really. I've once heard that saying sorry means we have a much bigger heart than anybody else ever has. great, right? though it seems hard, it is not impossible to do. #notetoself sih sebenernya :))

I am not a type of person who can verbalize everything quite easily and my husband is truly the opposite. therefore, when there is a disagreement between my husband and I, and I happen to be in the wrong position, I do not directly say sorry. instead, I do something reflecting the word 'sorry' itself. okay, it is confusing but, you get it, right? :p it is sooo much easier for me to write down everything than to say it out loud. I'm weird, yeah, I know.

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BE YOU

some people might judge you quite easily without knowing who you truly are.

some people might talk about you negatively behind your back.

some people might be very nice to you but then stab you right away.

it's okay. they might just be a bit envious of your wonderful life.

keep calm.

they will soon fade away.

always keep an open mind. always be positive at everything.

be you, be the truly you because you are the best version of yourself.

kindness will always find its way :)

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INFINITY

I wanna walk to the edge of the earth

scream your name

till the fires gone for my loss

I wanna drink till the depth of the urge

to run back to you and lay me down

make me yours

been crazy about this song lately. this is a song sung by Niykee Heaton entitled INFINITY. I don't know why I love this song so much but one thing I know, I love the lyrics. someone loves someone extremely much till this someone gives him/herself to be tortured. stupid, you might say. but sometimes people are easily blinded by love.

have you been through times when your love gives you no direction? you just feel it. you just cannot deny it? it's hard. really. even harder because you don't know what to do with it. okay, what am I talking about? love is confusing sometimes. and love is time consuming a hundred times. my God! I never get bored talking about love because I am proud of my life because it is full with it.

I have the unconditional love from my husband, from my parents, from my bestfriends, from my family. from those who love me. I am sure you will have those person loving you unconditionally. :)

back to this song,
I think not many people know this song because it is not quite popular (atau cuma aku aja yang telat taunya? hahaha). the music is not ordinary but it is sooooo easy listening. see how a song could affect you pretty much and tell me how you feel. :D it is as if our mood could be driven by it. remember my previous post about Adele's song entitled Hello? that's one of many songs influencing my mood so freakin much even if it has nothing to do with my life story at all *flat face*

try listen to this song. trust me, it's nice :))

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